Archive for the ‘life with kids’ Category

he’s all outta bubble gum

April 20, 2013


I haven’t even had Youngest Son watch John Carpenter’s “They Live” yet, and he’s already got a stone-cold Roddy Piper impression going (as demonstrated in the photo to the right.)

Click play on the video after the jump to see the Roddy Piper bit he’s impersonating.

And yes, when they’re a good bit older, I do hope to convince the two of them to star in a re-enactment of the epic back-alley fight scene from the same movie.*



“nooooo! not like that! you have to push your guts!”

April 20, 2013

 fullmetaljacketSee if you can choose the correct context within which the title of this post was uttered:

1. Oldest Son (perched on toilet) to youngest son (perched on training toilet) as he demonstrates (and narrates) his mastery of the defecatory arts.

2. Yeah, right.  Option two; who am I kidding?  It’s always a poop joke!



in which my kid gets a pioneer times plague and my faith in humanity is restored

April 5, 2013


Prior to last week, the last time I heard the words “Scarlet Fever” was when I got suckered into watching the film version of “Little Women” (I was quite a Samantha Mathis fan for a few years after I saw “Pump Up the Volume” at an impressionable age.) (more…)


March 25, 2013

I’m sitting on the couch, and Youngest Son (not quite two years old) is sitting next to me. He has recently developed an acute case of Mickey-Mouse-a-philia, and is sitting there saying: “Youngest Son Mickey Mouse Mickey Mouse Youngest Son Youngest Son Mickey Mouse Mickey Mouse Youngest Son…” (This goes on for about five minutes before I get a word in edgewise.) (more…)

rocket of the damned

March 23, 2013

Sitting at the kitchen table during breakfast, Oldest Son’s eyes keep drifting towards an as-yet unopened toy rocket package on the counter.

Oldest Son: “Daddy, does that toy rocket go off of the Earth? To OTHER PLANETS?”



March 23, 2013

Sitting at the kitchen table after an uncharacteristically enthusiastic assault on the contents of his dinner plate…

Oldest Son: “I’m a STOOPER kid; I’m never going to stop eating. Ever!!!” (Big smile.)

(Ominous pause) (more…)

the horror! (no, really.)

March 22, 2013

“Daddy, I thought I heard a wolf…
   …then I heard a voice say ‘there’s a wolf in this room!

So says Oldest Son, appearing out of the darkness, next to my bed (at four fifteen in the morning), apparently just standing there completely motionless and waiting for me to wake up and open my eyes before he starts talking (or otherwise announcing his presence in any way.)

File under: “So scary that I made my four year-old son check my closet for monsters before sending him back to bed.”

if it quacks like the ricardian equivalence proposition…

March 22, 2013

Oldest Son: “Daddy what’s the difference between ‘a duck‘ and ‘the deficit’?

Me: “Umm… … … …”

(Conversation eventually got derailed enumerating the differences between ducks and geese and we never got to “the deficit” part of our talk.)

top o’ the food chain

March 22, 2013

Recently, Oldest Son (age four) spent a lot of time on, and spent quite a while lecturing us about the role of Benioff zones in the subduction of tectonic plates, and the cretaceous era food chain, etc…

Later, as we were getting ready to bring the kids upstairs for bed, he started to look concerned, and asked a very serious question: (more…)

she is the law

March 22, 2013

One night I was putting Oldest Son to bed and he was over-tired, and wanted his water bottle and after scanning his bed for about 0.003 seconds burst into frantic tears because “IT’S NOT THERE!!!”  (It was, btw.  In plain sight, but whatever.) (more…)