c’mon! people know that i live here, dammit!

April 4, 2013

My kids have decided to stop being hilarious and focus exclusively on being cute and sweet for a while, which makes for great family time, but isn’t so great for the anecdotes.

Fortunately, the North Carolina state legislature has decided to pick up their slack, with a handful of state representatives offering a “bold” resolution essentially repudiating the incorporation of the bill of rights to apply against States as well as Congress, and (while they were at it) the authority of SCOTUS to determine the constitutionality of state law in the first place. Read the rest of this entry »

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anticipate!

March 25, 2013

I’m sitting on the couch, and Youngest Son (not quite two years old) is sitting next to me. He has recently developed an acute case of Mickey-Mouse-a-philia, and is sitting there saying: “Youngest Son Mickey Mouse Mickey Mouse Youngest Son Youngest Son Mickey Mouse Mickey Mouse Youngest Son…” (This goes on for about five minutes before I get a word in edgewise.) Read the rest of this entry »

rocket of the damned

March 23, 2013


Sitting at the kitchen table during breakfast, Oldest Son’s eyes keep drifting towards an as-yet unopened toy rocket package on the counter.

Oldest Son: “Daddy, does that toy rocket go off of the Earth? To OTHER PLANETS?”

Read the rest of this entry »

nutrition

March 23, 2013

Sitting at the kitchen table after an uncharacteristically enthusiastic assault on the contents of his dinner plate…

Oldest Son: “I’m a STOOPER kid; I’m never going to stop eating. Ever!!!” (Big smile.)

(Ominous pause) Read the rest of this entry »

the horror! (no, really.)

March 22, 2013


“Daddy, I thought I heard a wolf…
   …then I heard a voice say ‘there’s a wolf in this room!

So says Oldest Son, appearing out of the darkness, next to my bed (at four fifteen in the morning), apparently just standing there completely motionless and waiting for me to wake up and open my eyes before he starts talking (or otherwise announcing his presence in any way.)

File under: “So scary that I made my four year-old son check my closet for monsters before sending him back to bed.”

if it quacks like the ricardian equivalence proposition…

March 22, 2013


Oldest Son: “Daddy what’s the difference between ‘a duck‘ and ‘the deficit’?

Me: “Umm… … … …”

(Conversation eventually got derailed enumerating the differences between ducks and geese and we never got to “the deficit” part of our talk.)

oof!

March 22, 2013


Our Youngest Doggy is approximately fifty pounds in weight, and still thinks he weighs five pounds (pictured here back when he still did.)  His favorite thing in the world is to sprint up the stairs and down the hallway and launch himself  from the edge of the doorway in the master bedroom directly onto the center of our bed.

The sensation for anyone already present in the bed is roughly equivalent to having a fifty pound sack of potatoes elbows dropped on your sleeping body from a height of about fifteen feet.

top o’ the food chain

March 22, 2013

Recently, Oldest Son (age four) spent a lot of time on pbskids.org, and spent quite a while lecturing us about the role of Benioff zones in the subduction of tectonic plates, and the cretaceous era food chain, etc…

Later, as we were getting ready to bring the kids upstairs for bed, he started to look concerned, and asked a very serious question: Read the rest of this entry »

she is the law

March 22, 2013

One night I was putting Oldest Son to bed and he was over-tired, and wanted his water bottle and after scanning his bed for about 0.003 seconds burst into frantic tears because “IT’S NOT THERE!!!”  (It was, btw.  In plain sight, but whatever.) Read the rest of this entry »

the illusionist

March 22, 2013

Oldest Son: “Daddy! Daddy! I’m gonna go so fast you can’t even see me!”

Me: “Wow, OK.  Ready…, set…., Go!”

(Awkward, extended pause and silence)

Me: “Well…?”

Oldest Son: “You need to turn around first so you can’t see me.”